The biggest lie that many folks tell themselves is “I’m weak if I see a therapist” or “I don’t need anyone else. I can’t rely on other people. If I rely on them, I’m weak.”
I’m calling out:
Pushing those feelings of hurt, anger, frustration down is depressing them. And that depression will leak out into the most inconvenient moments that likely hurt other people. Creating a vicious dance of comparison and hurt.
That’s the easy choice. Anyone can do it. It doesn’t take strength to depress your feelings. It takes incredible strength to talk with someone. Being vulnerable and exposed are hard choices. You are a person of value who is intelligent and wants to be the best brother/sister/provider possible. You are worth love and connection.
Needing love and connection is just being a human. We die from loss of love and connection. Aborting the cycle is simple, arduous and wobbly choice.
Take the step to love people. Begin with loving my new friend. Yourself.
This doesn’t mean coming off of shift, grabbing a beer and Netflixing with yourself. It means changing the voice in your head and controlling how you speak to yourself. You might say “But... you haven’t seen the things I’ve seen or know the trauma and hurt I experience.”
Follow this thought with me. In a second I want you to close your eyes and imagine a monkey in your front hard on a unicycle holding an elephant above his head.
Did you see it? What you’ve just proven is that you can control your thoughts. That also means being graceful with that voice that speaks to you.
You aren’t broken. You’re human experiencing emotions and feelings.
You are worth love and have value just for simply being a human. You don’t have to earn that or perform to be worth love and have value.
The Crooked Road is a blog series on psychological safety and building connection within the medical and first responder community. My hope is to connect with others and inspire you to love other people.